You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
