another moral hangover. fuck.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
