Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
