Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I wanna passion pit in your ass
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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