i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
