Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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