Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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