im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
