I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
