Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
