Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
