From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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