I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
