she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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