Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
