Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
