i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
