shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
