Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
