Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
