Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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