I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize