I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
