What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
if only i could text you this smell
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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