I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
