You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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