woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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