ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
