i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
