I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
