THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
