he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
we're making bets on your personal life
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
