Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
