Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
