I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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