I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
