It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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