I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Michael Bay diarrhea
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
