how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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