i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
