He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
