I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
