I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I skipped work to stalk him.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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