yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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