He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
