I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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