good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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