Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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