Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
