it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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