You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
