just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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