You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
