my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
